My Illness

I'm bipolar. I was diagnosed at the age of sixteen. Actually, the last time I was hospitalized my diagnosis was changed to schizoaffective disorder. This is because I had paranoid delusions, and I said I was hearing the voice of Genghis Khan. I don't remember saying this, but it was in the hospital notes.

I was committed. I was committed because I threatened to leave Huntsville Hospital against medical advice. The hospital called my parents and said I was threatening to leave the hospital and that if they didn't agree to have me committed they would have to let me go on my on. I do remember demanding to leave the hospital. I wasn't being belligerent. I wish they had just talked to me and informed me of my options and warned me that my demand could get me committed.

All's well that ends well. When I was in the commitment hospital I was prescribed new medicine, and I lost thirty pounds. I also went two months without smoking. I should have quit smoking for good then. Anyway, I now use oral nicotine pouches, so I don't smoke anymore.

When I was sixteen I was totally out of control. My mind was chaotic. For a couple of years previous to that I had been suicidal, because I attended a school I didn't like. I finally got my parents to send me to a private school. It was called Highland Christian Academy in Pulaski Tennessee. I loved it there. I made tons of new friends, and my mood greatly improved. That next summer I went to a church camp, and I became manic. I went three days without any sleep. I believed I was famous. When I came back home I knew something was wrong, because I had gone so long without any sleep. My parents didn't know what to do with me, but eventually I was hospitalized.

That's enough for now. Maybe I'll write more about this later.